A friend recommended I read a novel called “China Doll” by Barbara Jean Hicks because it was about a woman who yearned for children falling in love with a man who didn’t want them. So I bought it. 77 cents for the used copy on Amazon.com, almost $4 for shipping. Setting aside the 1960s cover and the general corniness and predictability, plus the in-your-face fundamentalist religion, I’ve just got to say we’ve been duped again. By the final page, the woman has adopted a child, the man has fallen in love with both the child and the woman, and they get married and live happily ever after as a “real family.” It wasn’t all a lost cause because parts of it take place right here where I live, but that doesn’t fix things. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of books where the woman who wants a baby gets a baby in the end.
There seem to be two kinds of books out there about childlessness: the “childfree” books that talk about how life is just fine without kids, and “the oh it hurts so much that I can’t have babies” books, which usually end happily in birth or adoption.
In real life, sometimes you want a baby, but you don’t get one, and you have to live with that fact. Has anyone out there ever read a book that told how it really is? That’s what I’m working on. Comments welcome.
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Childless by Marriage 
Hello,
My name is Billie Jo and I do not have children (not by choice) my first marriage was a lie for 10 years, while I struggled to have a child because my husband promised he would I never conceived and one day found he was cheating and wanted a divorce. Now I am remarried to a good caring man, but he does not want anymore children, I found out that there isn't anything wrong with me (but who knows, some people just never concieve and they don't know why) but I struggle with not having children everyday, it's ok sometimes and some days are outright brutal, I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. I am so tired of books and movies that struggle to have children and then somehow have them, lets be realistic, it's not all roses and sunshine and everything works out.
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Same boat. I plan to write a book about my struggle too. But if I wanted to I could get a divorce and do it myself…but I really love my husband. I never really wanted to parent by myself either.
I do think though that I have a split personality on the issue. I think I want to be accepted by other mothers more than I want to actually be a mother.
I just found your blog…so I started with older posts to catch up.
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Billie Joe,
I so agree with you. Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog where I'll talk about a book that doesn't end with the protagonist getting a baby.
Sue
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