Halloween is over, thank God, but I’m still getting comments and private emails from childless people for whom it was a painful experience. Everyone else seemed to be having a great time with their children and grandchildren, but the holiday just reminded them they didn’t/couldn’t/probably never would have kids. Sucks, doesn’t it.
I spent Halloween here alone in my house in the woods, baking muffins for the church bazaar. I bought candy–little Hershey bars because that’s what my mother used to buy, and they made miss her even more than usual. I put up Halloween lights and waited for kids to come. But nobody came. Not a single knock on the door. The few kids who live nearby probably went elsewhere or stayed home, discouraged by the rain and the darkness out here. It was just me mixing one batch of muffins after another, and the dog watching in the hope that I might drop something delicious on the floor. By 9:00, I decided nobody was coming and turned off the lights. My legs were tired from standing at the kitchen counter, and I felt bad about missing another Halloween.
The very next day, yesterday, the Christmas TV commercials started, full of presents for little kids. I have no kids to buy gifts for, and no little kid will be wrapping a present for me.
Gosh, I sound sorry for myself. I’m just saying the holidays are hard when you don’t have children and you wanted them. But we need to get ourselves off our self-pity pots and do something positive. I could have invited people over or found a Halloween party to go to. I could have maybe helped with an event in town. I could donate my candy to a children’s shelter or send it to the troops overseas. I don’t have to eat those little candy bars one at a time and miss my mom with each fattening bite.
Now I can get myself busy with Christmas activities, with and without children, and make or buy gifts for families who can’t afford to buy their own. I can offer my company to lonely seniors. I can spend the holidays at a tropical island reading trashy novels and drinking pina coladas. Maybe find a handsome islander and make love all day long.
With advance planning, our holidays can not only be less painful but even fun. What other ways can we survive our childless holidays? Suggestions?
At least I didn’t put a Halloween costume on my dog.