For a lot of readers here, it all comes down to having a baby or not having a baby. That’s the topic at Beth Follini’s Children or Not blog, which I have been following off and on for a couple years. She is a life coach who specializes in helping people struggling to decide whether they will become parents. Now she has published an e-book called Baby or Not: Making the Biggest Decision of Your Life. I just ordered it at Amazon, and I’ll let you know what I think. Meanwhile you might want to click on over to the blog and read it for yourself.
On one of Beth’s posts, she talks about another writer who is seeking interviewees for her own book project. I’m seeing more and more books about childlessness. When I started writing on the subject, there wasn’t much to read. Obviously people are talking much more about it now. They’re writing books and articles and forming groups. This is a wonderful development. I think people without children will be much more accepted in years to come than they have been in the past.
My dog Annie turned five years old on Saturday. My sweet baby is an adult. I didn’t bake her a cake, but I did sing “Happy Birthday” to her and spoil her with treats all day. Yes, she’s a dog, but when I think about how much time and energy I spend taking care of her, entertaining her, and making sure she’s cared for when I’m away from home, it feels a little like motherhood. Among the many childless women I’ve talked to, most seem to have close relationships with their dogs or cats. I have a long chapter on that in my Childless by Marriage book. Is it an alternative form of parenting? What do you think?
2 thoughts on “New e-book helps people decide: Baby or Not?”
People always say that having a dog is a great warmup to having children and they are probably right. We have to feed, water, give them a place to do their business (or be prepared to clean it up if we fail). When they’re sick, we need to consult the vet, buy the meds and make sure they get better. A certain level of cleanliness needs to be achieved so we don't look like delinquent “dog parents”. So yes, I consider it alternative but not a replacement for children. There is a joy in watching our animals and learning how their personalities unfold.My husband and I know that Dog 01 will not be happy when we get home after a long absence. We know she will look at us, snort and pace around the door until we open it. We know she will return with playful running and crash into us with love. We know which dog will be hiding in the bedroom and what side of bed she will be found.But they aren't children and I likely won't be one to ever sign my dogs’ names on a Christmas card or travel with an animal. Not that I judge those who do. Maybe after I “officially” recognize that my life won't hold children I will change my mind.Anon S
Dogs and children are definitely not the same. I have signed my dogs' names on a few Christmas cards, but I hate to travel with mine and leave her home as much as possible. I suspect few children over the age of 5 give their parents as enthusiastic a greeting as our dogs do.