I’ve been watching Jane the Virgin on Netflix. It’s a fun show about this young Hispanic woman who was artificially inseminated with sperm from her boss. The whole thing is a spoof on the wildly melodramatic Spanish telenovelas. If watching someone’s pregnancy grow with every episode bothers you, you might not enjoy it.
I liked Jane, but it sent me flashing back to my first marriage, when I often fantasized about being pregnant. Sometimes I’d wear big tops and let people wonder if I was hiding a baby underneath. I’d feel my abdomen and imagine it was getting a little bigger, that I might be pregnant. I’d even sit and stand as if I were carrying a baby. I also crocheted a lot of baby booties. Even though we were using birth control every time, I wanted that feeling. I physically yearned to be pregnant. I also wanted to do what other women my age were doing and get all the extra attention that comes with it.
I used to have dreams about being pregnant. Do you? Sometimes those dreams would be so real, I’d wake up and expect to feel the baby bump and be devastated when I realized it wasn’t real.
Sure, I didn’t long for the pains that come with pregnancy and delivery or the sleepless nights that come with a newborn, but I wanted to be pregnant. It was the ‘70s. I was 20-something and married. Everyone, including me, assumed we’d be having children.
Then my period would come, cramps would tear me apart, and my belly would feel flat and useless. For 40 years, I suffered through painful periods and PMS as my body prepared for pregnancies that didn’t happen. What a waste.
Maybe women who never wanted to have children don’t experience these feelings. Maybe their baby dreams are nightmares. There were certainly years between marriages when I did not want to get pregnant. I was busy working, and my parents would disown me. Now that pregnancy is impossible, when my belly feels big, I think I shouldn’t have eaten so many French fries. But in those early years, sometimes I could convince myself that it was really happening.
Men who might be reading this, I don’t think you can possibly understand how this feels. Women’s bodies are made for baby-making. Dramatic things happen inside for that purpose. All you have to do is provide sperm. So when your mate starts whining about wanting to have babies, be aware that their bodies are nagging them as much as they’re nagging you.
I tried to find a link for you to read more about pregnancy fantasies and came up with porn sites about guys who get off on pregnant bellies. Not what I was looking for, but I guess that’s a thing. I also found several sites that show how you fake being pregnant. Honest to God, there’s www.fakeababy.com. They think it’s funny. Not so much for us, is it?
What do you think about all this? Male and female, I’d love to read your comments.