Beyond Childlessness: Counting My Blessings

It’s my birthday! Rahhhhh! Birthdays are often problematic for me. I whine about the gifts I don’t receive and the people who aren’t around, but this time I’m just feeling grateful. My friends, I have a good life. As I prayed a summing-up-the-year prayer last night, I didn’t even think about not having children. It’s true. I didn’t. I thought about all the great things I do have. My days are full of writing, music, books, dogs, great food, beautiful scenery, family and good friends who feel like family. I have had 64 years of good health. That could change in a heartbeat, but I am grateful. Yes, I miss my husband, and sometimes I wish I had more money, but at this moment, I know I am blessed.

I am grateful for you, too, for this sister and brotherhood of childless people that has formed here and taken a life far beyond my Childless by Marriage book. We can comfort each other, help each other to make the decisions we need to make, and encourage each other in our lives that may not have children but they do and will have many other wonderful things. Trust me. There will be tears, there will be regrets. But there will also be laughter and joy.

No, I haven’t started drinking already. It’s still very early here in Oregon. In a little while, I have to go into a difficult meeting at work, and it may be hard to hang on to a positive attitude. But I’m determined to do my best.

I found a podcast online that I think you will find interesting:

You can listen to a discussion about the choice  of whether or not to have children and an interview with psychotherapist Jeanne Safer, author of Beyond Motherhood: Choosing a Life Without Children at

Also, do you know I have another blog called Unleashed in Oregon? Check out this week’s post, “Lawnmower One, Widow Lady Zero.” It might give you a smile.

Next week I’ll be in Tucson on a combination work/pleasure trip, so we will have a guest post that I know you’re going to love.

Your comments are always welcome.

5 thoughts on “Beyond Childlessness: Counting My Blessings

  1. Happy Birthday, Sue! Glad to hear you are feeling upbeat on your special day – hope it lasts 🙂

    Your readers may enjoy listening to this service from Mothering Sunday in England, especially Jody Day of “Gateway Women”, who talks so eloquently about what the day is like for women who are not mothers themselves:

    Jody wrote about the experience and included a transcript of her speech here:

    Hugs x


    • Thanks for the link, M2L. I remember seeing that. Well, the good mood didn’t last. It’s stormy, I have to work, and I’m alone. Bleh. But I meant what I said this morning. I’m pretty lucky overall.


  2. Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!!! You truly are a blessing to all who are here that follow your blog. The biggest reason I follow is because of your positive attitude. I find that the key to continuing through life. Life is hard whether you have kids or not and it’s important to remember that children aren’t the answer to all life’s problems. Even though it’s easy for us without children to think it is. Honestly, I don’t believe that to be true. We are all given many gifts in life, life being one of them. I may have written this before, so please forgive me if I’m repeating myself. In my 20s, I had a girlfriend through work. We were just getting to know each other and form a friendship when she was taken away in a horrible car accident. She was a lovely lady, recently married and starting a new career when a selfish and careless driver took her life. Any time I get feeling sorry for myself (for any reason), I always remind myself that Janna would be thrilled to have my life instead of her very short one. It really puts things into perspective. I go to bed thankful every night for all the blessings I have received. And though I cannot see God’s plan in my life right now (less focus on the lack of children and now more focused on my husband’s failing health), I have not lost my faith. I really think this is the benefit of being on this side of life. I have more years to look back on and see God’s hand in all areas of my life and if he was so busy being involved for the last 51 years, there is no reason for me to believe that he wouldn’t be there for the next 51 years. Thank goodness God doesn’t get tired. Or I would be screwed. 😂😂. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for being a great role model in being positive. Even if it didn’t last all day today on the outside, I have no doubt it continued on the inside. Glad you were born today!!!!!


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