Dear friends,
I’ll be honest. I have published 607 posts on this Childless by Marriage blog, and I can’t think of anything I haven’t covered. Usually something comes to me, but it hasn’t so far this week. That doesn’t mean I have any intention of quitting. We need each other.
I have been going through old posts—I’m in 2012 right now—fixing dead links, typos and other problems. When I transferred this blog to WordPress from the Blogger platform, some weird stuff sneaked in. It feels good to fix the embarrassing errors. Please let me know when you find mistakes. I can usually repair them in a few keystrokes, but not if I don’t know about them.
I’m thinking I might want to put together a “Best of Childless by Marriage” book. I did that with my Unleashed in Oregon blog last year, and it’s nice to have everything in one place. Also, I worry that all of these posts will disappear someday if something goes awry with WordPress or the Internet. My work is my baby, so I stress over these things.
I need your help. I see this blog as more of a conversation than as a place for me to show off my writing. You readers are a critical part of the Childless by Marriage blog, and you are all in different places in your childless journeys. So today I’m asking you to join me in my brainstorming for 2018.
- What do you want to talk about?
- What have you not seen here that I should cover?
- What kinds of posts do you hate? Be honest.
- Would you like to see less about me and more about other people?
- Do you like lots of links? Do you click on them?
- Would you like to address the readers directly in a guest post?
- Do you have specific ideas for future posts?
- Do you have questions you want to ask me?
You are a great group of readers. I have had very little trouble with spam or people being mean to each other here. I’m grateful for that. I truly welcome your suggestions. I also hope you will tell me if a link doesn’t work or you can’t read a post on your computer, tablet, phone or other device. Please comment here. You can also reach me directly at sufalick@gmail.com.
Childless by Marriage 
What I like seeing are the stories of people who managed to find some peace and happiness despite not having children. I’d be interested in what they did with the typical child raising years of their middle age and afterwards, what other passions they found that made life worth living and the practical stuff too like planning for old age when the traditional family is absent. Sometimes I come here to commiserate when I’m sad but other times I’m looking for inspiration from people who’ve been through being childless and were still able to find happiness and meaning in their lives, in hopes that maybe someday I can do the same.
I like the idea of guest posts too. Links are good, I do click them.
Or maybe a post where the regular readers can share some info about ourselves with each other and learn about each other’s lives, jobs, pets, stuff we like to do, etc.
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Lots of good ideas, Erica. Thank you.
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I enjoy learning about how others experience their childless journey–good and not so good. Links are always helpful and I do like them. Having a place to come to where there are other people going through similar things because of our childlessness is a great thing, because from my experience, it can be a lonely place to be. I think a good topic would be to hear from people who are past their child bearing years and how they are dealing with aging and not having children to take care of them. Thank you for creating this space. It has been so helpful.
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Good ideas, a plentifullife. Thank you for being here. I’m glad it helps.
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Sue, Erica, Plentifullife et al, the time seems right to open up about my own life dealing with no children of my own. I had read your blog over the Christmas holiday and realized with today’s posts that I might be able to contribute realities and possibilities that I’ve experienced along the way that might be beneficial in some way to others. During my childbearing years in the 70’s-early 90’s there were no sources of support and every television program or article about infertility had a “happy ending” resulting in a baby…nothing about people moving on with life without a child. It was truly excruciating at that time.
I’ve come through with occasional moments of anger or sadness, but I can look at the big picture now. Nature, music, art and wonderful friends and family members (that includes pets) are what keep me here in a life to be thankful for. I am a pretty reserved person, so I know this will be good for me to have another outlet that can help me as well. Thank you for making a place for this discussion, Sue, and for putting your own personal experiences out there as a way for someone like me to be willing to open up.
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Lois, thank you. Sounds like we’re about the same age. Let me know if you’d like to offer a guest post sometime in the near future.
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Greetings,
I just found your blog so I’m going to look it over to see if I can find some stories, inspiration, hope, “sisterhood” about this issue — how to live with yourself, the steps you go from shame to freedom, if you really dislike your stepchildren. In my case, it’s not actually stepchildren. My husband and I adopted two teenage girls at 15 and 16, and we never bonded. They are 22 and 21 now, and actually very happy, but I am still miserable over the horrible way we were treated during those teen years, and the non-bonding. There is no bonding, yet everyone thinks you “should”or “are”. Any blogs on this issue?
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Welcome, Mary. I don’t know of any blogs about the unhappy adoption situation offhand, but I would be interested in finding some. Everyone seems to think that once people adopt, it’s all happily ever after, but clearly that’s not true.
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