Another COVID-19 Loss: Fertility Treatments

Coronaviruses Close the Fertility Clinics Across the Country

When I read this headline yesterday, I felt sad, but I also thought: of course. In this time of crisis, making babies is considered an elective procedure, just like my friend’s postponed hip replacement and the dentist appointment I was supposed to have yesterday. It appears that most clinics are finishing procedures they have started but not initiating new treatment cycles.

I feel sad for the people whose fertility journey has suddenly stopped. It’s a big leap just to try to get pregnant via IVF and other methods. Many of the people doing it are at or near an age when it will soon be too late. But of course when people are dying of COVID-19, when hospitals are filling with patients struggling to breathe and health-care workers are risking their lives every day to treat them, dare we complain?

In history, fertility has dipped in times of crisis—wars, depressions, epidemics. Now is no different. In the animal kingdom, animals stop reproducing when conditions are not right, when it’s not safe or there isn’t enough food. Humans are no different. Look at how many couples put off having children because they can’t afford them or because they want to buy a house first? Right now, with so many people out of work, the economic future isn’t looking too good.

It’s a rough time. We’re “social distancing” by staying home far more than we’re used to. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting cabin fever real bad. Last night, I got in my car and drove around for a few minutes just to GET OUT, but everything was closed and all the wonderful parks here on the Oregon coast are barricaded. There was nowhere to go, so I looked at the bay for a few minutes then drove back home and watched three episodes of “Good Girls” in a row.

Most of you are younger than I am. You may be staying home with your partner. Maybe both of you are trying to work from home, or you’re going out to work, worrying constantly about getting the virus. You may be hearing your friends whine about staying home with their kids. I’m sure that is challenging. I don’t envy them, but does it make you feel worse about not having any children?

Let’s talk about this mandated staycation. How are you doing? Have you put having children way in the back of your mind until the pandemic is over or are you thinking why not get pregnant now? Has this whole situation changed how you feel about becoming a mom or dad? What’s going on at your house these days? Please share. I’m lonely, and Annie just says “feed me, pet me, and walk me.” So let’s talk.

I wish you all health and peace of mind.

6 thoughts on “Another COVID-19 Loss: Fertility Treatments

  1. Hi Sue, I’m writing a reply from the UK. Things are getting worse here, we haven’t hit our virus peak yet and today we had the most deaths registered in one day. A poor young 13 year old boy died yesterday, the youngest so far. His poor parents were not able to be with him, I cannot start to imagine what they are going through. We are in lockdown like you in the States. My 90 year old mother lives alone about 10 minutes from me. Officially, I’m not meant to visit her but I have to take her shopping in as online shopping is fully booked. She’s just glad to have some company once a week. It’s heartbreaking to drive away and know I won’t see her for another week. I’m fortunate that I live in a good healthy relationship with my husband. I feel so sad for those who don’t. I have no yearnings for long ago wanted children now. I don’t have to worry about children or grandchildren during this terrible time. Some of my friends are in pieces at not seeing their kids, worried sick for them. Yes, I’m going stir crazy but it is what it is. The world will pull through this and my real hope is that we will come through it a better and kinder place.

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    • Thank you for sharing this, Sue. Being separated from our older parents is so hard. I’m glad you and your husband are getting along. Yes, we will get through this, but the numbers do keep going up, and that is frightening.

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  2. It is funny you brought this up. I just had a miscarriage and while I am upset at the loss (I feel slightly terrible writing this next part…) I am slightly relieved. I was worried about going to a doctor for appointments. I was worried about not receiving enough medical care. I was very worried about our financial situation. I am able to work from home but the company I work for was declared essential. My husband’s company was not. He luckily is still working but his salary was reduced. We want to start a family, but right now does not feel like the time. Maybe in August we can start but there are too many things going on that would cause my anxiety to go through the roof, which would make being pregnant worse.

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      • Thank you. It is a hard time to get any medical attention. I understand that doctors are swamped with the virus but for those with other concerns a hospital visit is very stressful

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  3. I feel for those who are having to wait for IVF or other cycles. For people in NZ and other countries where cycles are paid for by the government, there will be women who will “age out” of the free care, and lose the opportunity altogether, which is really tough. (Though maybe the govt will make exceptions – I don’t know.)

    I’m probably about your age (just a guess), and so it has been a loooong time since I was trying to have children. It does feel a bit more isolated just being the two of us (though I recognise how lucky I am to have my husband here with me), but it also isn’t nearly as stressful as if I had young children.

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