Love or children? Why would anyone have to choose? It’s like this giant secret that is right in front of everyone. One in five women and even more men don’t have children—at least not their own. For more than half of them, it was not by choice. Their partners a) never wanted children, b) already had kids from a previous relationship, c) never quite felt ready for parenthood, d) had had a vasectomy, or e) had fertility problems. They are forced to make a choice between this man or woman they love and the children they might have had.
Love or Children, which is in the production phase now and will be out in time for Christmas, features the best of more than 700 posts and comments from the Childless by Marriage blog. Although my name is on the cover, you readers have contributed a great deal to this book, often sharing things you wouldn’t tell anyone in person. Without you, it would be nothing. Don’t worry. I have maintained your anonymity, but your stories will be told.
Chapters look at how one becomes childless by marriage, how to decide whether to stay in a childless relationship or leave, how to deal with the grief that comes with giving up the dream of having children, how to respond to the hurtful things that people say, and lots more.
It’s important that as many people as possible read this book and maybe begin to understand what we’re dealing with. I will need your help spreading the word. I hope to make this fun. There will be swag, giveaways, videos, and more. Stay tuned.
If you haven’t read my previous Childless by Marriage book, order it now and catch up. The ebook is practically free.
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The coronavirus madness rages on. How are you all doing? Do you think it’s easier or more difficult for those of us without children? I haven’t seen my nieces and nephews in over a year except on Facebook. Have you been able to connect with family, especially the young ones that might fill that childless hole in your life?
At this moment, we still don’t know who has won the U.S. presidential election, but people are about to explode from the stress. However it turns out, we’ll still be here for each other.
I’m still looking for guest posts to the blog. The guidelines are in the sidebar on this page.
Hugs,
Sue
Childless by Marriage 
I’m excited for you, Sue!
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Thanks! Any help you can give in spreading the word would be appreciated.
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I hope it’s a big success, Sue – you deserve it!
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Thank you, Jo. Couldn’t do without you.
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Congrats!! Hope this lead to more people finding the comfort you provide on this blog.
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Me too!
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As a single, childless women in her 40’s, in the midst of the pandemic, discovering your blog and book have been a blessing for my mental and emotional health. Feeling very much alone yet surrounded by happy mother’s, I’ve found my place in your blog. Thank you for making me see there is nothing wrong with me and I’m not alone!
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Thank you, Lisa. Big hugs. ((( )))
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Congrats on the new book! I look forward to reading it. Your blog has been a huge source of support for several years, so thank you.
The pandemic has actually helped me finally get to a place of acceptance re not having children. Watching friends and colleagues battle with home schooling while working full time from home, the triple burden of work+childcare+housework simultaneously, plus having to explain to their increasingly stressed-out kids why they were ever brought into a world clearly so broken, makes me grateful not to have to deal with it all. I really do feel for those who are trying to find an appropriate partner at this horribly difficult time, though. Wishing everyone health and peace.
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Thank you, Sara. I’m glad the blog helps.
I see how difficult it is for parents of young kids stuck at home but also for parents of grown kids who can’t see them now. But I’d still love to hear someone say “Hi, Mom, how are you?”
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Book looks great, and I can’t wait to order it. (Unfortunately, were I to write my own book it would have to be”Love or Children—When You Can’t Have Either”——breaks my heart all over again.) However I imagine there are some parents who live without good health or without even a subsistence income. So very few get to have it all. Best of luck with your book!
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Thank you. The book will be here soon. I’m sorry you couldn’t have either.
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