Father’s Day is this Sunday in the United States. Is it just me, or does Father’s Day get a lot less attention than Mother’s Day?
Think about it. Moms get flowers and presents. Restaurants are flooded with people taking their moms out to brunch. The clergy praise the glories of motherhood while the media overflows with ads for Mother’s Day gifts.
Fathers get a card and a Best Dad mug, and we’re done.
Mother’s Day makes those of us who are not mothers want to crawl into a cave where people won’t assume we are mothers or make us feel small for not having children. Stepmoms yearn for recognition from their stepchildren, but it rarely comes. “You’re not my mom” is the kids’ theme song.
Father’s Day is kind of ho-hum. No flowers, fewer ads, less to-do. The clergy may still rattle off a prayer for dads, but generally guys don’t deal as much with assumptions about their parenting status or guilt if they’re not dads. It’s almost a regular day, except for the ads for fishing gear and barbecue supplies.
The holiday still can sting. Tony, a frequent commenter here, calls it “Chopped Liver Day” because that’s how he feels. Father’s Day is another reminder that he is still not a dad, that he will not be adding a World’s Best Dad mug to his collection.
If we’re lucky enough to have our parents around, we can turn our energies to honoring them. If the parents are gone or you don’t get along, that adds another layer of sadness. My father would have said, “It’s just another day,” but if it’s a day that makes you feel left out, it’s not just another day.
What do you think? Is Father’s Day different from Mother’s Day? Why or why not? How will you handle the holiday? I will be playing the piano at church. When Father Joseph calls for the fathers to stand up, I will be watching to see who does not stand up. I will sympathize with them.
Stay off social media this weekend, and Monday, too. All those happy family photos will kill you.
Have a peaceful weekend. We will get past this parent-palooza and on to Fourth of July.
Additional reading:
“Thoughts for Childless Men on Father’s Day”
“Coping with Father’s Day as a Childless Man,” by Dr. Robin Hadley
Some background on Father’s Day: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/father%27s_Day
“Father’s Day Tortures Childless Men”
Childless by Marriage 
I think there is less to Fathers Day than Mother’s Day. My husband doesn’t seem to notice it in relation to himself (even tho he gets his Dad a card and small present). Mind you, he would probably think I don’t notice Mother’s Day, because I don’t say anything.
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My husband doesn’t fuss about this. He get’s annoyed when our very religious family insists that Godmothers and Godfathers are “just as important as real mothers and fathers”. At our new church they did announce happy fathers day to “spiritual fathers” but I really think that maybe was meant for parents whose children have died or whose fathers have died. Either way – we are not bothered until someone INSISTS that we be wished a happy mothers or fathers day. Although I will admit that I’ve had more difficult Mothers Days than he’s had Father’s Day.
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