You’re on your own

It has been almost a month since I blogged here, so I’m doing it twice today. I have been in the midst of finding a new place for my husband, who has Alzheimer’s. The home where he had been staying was not working out. He was so miserable he tried to run away. So now, with help from a great organization called A Place for Mom, I have moved him to Timberwood Court in Albany Oregon. It’s a lot farther from home, but a much better place.

What does this have to do with childlessness? Mainly that I wouldn’t have been doing all this alone if I had children or if his children really understood how hard this is. There’s the physical part of it: Fred’s room came unfurnished, so I had to buy furniture and get it to Albany. I carried a carload of stuff when we moved and last week, I single-handedly shoved two heavy easy chairs into the back of the car and drove them over. This week I’m getting a phone hooked up. I’m dealing with insurance and doctors and staggering bills. Perhaps worst is the strain of making all these decisions on my own. Fred can’t help anymore, and no one else is here.

If you’re considering a marriage without children, especially to a much older man, think about the possibility that he will get sick and suddenly you’ll be handling everything alone.