Childless friends, here are some answers


Dear friends,
I’m in the middle of a family dilemma and can’t concentrate. My dad fell and broke his hip last week. He’s in a rehab place in California, I’m in Oregon, and communication is ragged. Like this morning, the rehab spokeswoman said on the phone that she can’t tell me anything because my father won’t give her permission–because he doesn’t want to bother me. I’m already bothered. So, while I try to talk to my 92-year-old father, I’m sharing some links to fabulous articles that address issues we’re all thinking about.  
1) This advice column by Lisa Scott addresses the question I get most often here: “I want to have a baby but my boyfriend is avoiding the topic. What should I do?” If you’re a man reading this, just change the genders and read on.
2) This piece, “Wishing for You, Wishing for Me,” by Heather Travis at the Huffington Post may bring you some tears, but read on and you’ll find some reasons to smile.   

Love to you all.
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Why are we watching ‘The Bachelorette?’

Has anybody else been glued to the TV watching “The Bachelorette?” on Monday nights? I have been completely hooked. I even turned off the phones and the computer for last night’s finale. I know, this does not sound like the intellectual fare that someone of my age and education should be watching, but dang it, I can’t help myself. We’ve got beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes in beautiful places doing beautiful things. Even the their meals are beautiful–although they rarely seem to actually eat. It’s a Cinderella story in which Cinderella aka Desiree does not lose her glass slipper but she does get the handsome prince. And he never says, “Oh by the way, I don’t want to have children.” The men always say they want kids, and some who already have children insist that they want more. They want two, three, five, eight, a whole dozen.

Last night, as Chris proposed to Des, he included children in his proposal. “Do you want to have kids with me?” I’m sitting on my couch in my nightgown screaming “Yes!” He says all the right things, plus he’s handsome and has a good job. Where was this guy when I was dating? Husband number one didn’t even bother with a real proposal. Number two had all the right qualities except that he didn’t want to have kids with me.

I know, The Bachelorette is a fairy tale. I know that the couples rarely stay together long enough to actually get married. And as far as I know, only one Bachelor/Bachelorette couple has had children together. But don’t spoil my dreams with the reality of reality TV. I want to believe they will live happily ever after in a house full of beautiful children and beautiful grandchildren.

In a Huffington Post article titled “What Could You Have Done With All The Hours You Spent Watching ‘The Bachelorette’?Jessica Goodman tallied up how many hours fans have spent watching “The Bachelorette” over the years: 6.54 days or 157 hours. She offers suggestions for other ways we might have used that time. Not one of those suggestions involves kids, but they might be fun. Check it out.

Is watching this show a waste of time? Or is it okay to seek comfort in fantasy when our own lives haven’t turned out quite the way we planned? And now what will we do on Monday nights?

I welcome your thoughts.