Do your stepchildren accept you?

Ah, stepchildren. I don’t dare write what I want to write today for fear it will make my stepchildren dislike me more than they already do. It’s not all their fault. Their father never reached out to them. Although I never missed sending a birthday or Christmas present, they seem to feel that we didn’t care about them when they were younger, so why should they care about us now?

The thing with adult stepchildren is that they no longer have to visit the non-custodial parent. They don’t have to share their children with you. They don’t have to remember your birthday. If you didn’t build a relationship when they were young, it’s over. Recent events have made it clear they don’t consider me family. So now I hug my dog, the only “child” I raised well.

Stepchildren are so tricky. They’ve got all that divorce baggage. How often do they love and respect both parents after the split? I suspect it’s rare. They’ll blame one or both for breaking up the family. Along comes the innocent new spouse, who is battling forces set in place long before she or he arrived. God bless those stepfamilies that blend together like flour and sugar in a cake batter. The rest of us separate like oil and vinegar. Heavy stirring may blend them for a while, but they inevitably separate again.

How is it with your stepchildren? Are you close? Do they include you in family events? Let’s talk about it.