Why don’t you have children? Sometimes you want to scream, “F-off! It’s none of your business.” I totally get it. But wait. For today’s post, I offer some responses for those times when people come at you with those questions.
1. How many kids do you have?
DIPLOMATIC: I don’t have any children. How about you?
SMART ALECK: Kids? I knew I forgot to do something.
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: Why do you assume I have children?
2. So you don’t like kids?
DIPLOMATIC: I love kids. I just don’t have any of my own.
SMART ALECK: That’s irrelevant, isn’t it?
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: Why do you assume I don’t like kids?
3. Why don’t you have children?
DIPLOMATIC: Things just didn’t work out for us.
SMART ALECK: Why did you have them? Did you stop and think before you did it or just let it happen?
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: That is personal and private, and it hurts to talk about it.
4. Why don’t you just adopt?
DIPLOMATIC: Adoption is difficult, expensive, and not what we wanted to do.
SMART ALECK: Why don’t you?
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: If he/she didn’t want kids of our own, why would he/she agree to adopt? Why do people assume that’s an option for everyone?
5. Won’t you regret growing old without children and grandchildren?
DIPLOMATIC: Probably, but there will be times when I’m relieved, too.
SMART ALECK: I don’t know. Will you regret having them?
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: I regret having to have this conversation again. Why do you assume I’ll have more regrets than you will?
6. Who will take care of you in your old age?
DIPLOMATIC: I worry about that, but I believe my family and friends will be there for me.
SMART ALECK: I don’t know. Do you want to take care of me? We can start the paperwork right now.
CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN: Why do you assume your kids will be around when you need them?
Your turn: Does this stir up some of your own ideas about how to answer these questions or other questions that drive you crazy? Please share in the comments. Let’s get a good list going.
This is post #800 at the Childless by Marriage blog. Good Lord, that’s a lot of posts. If you keep coming, I’ll keep writing. If you feel the urge to write a guest post, please see the instructions to the right on this page and do it.