Taking care of "Mom"

My husband’s nursing home invited families to a meeting Saturday to bring them up to date on what’s been happening with the company and talk about issues such as security, finances and a new system for ordering adult diapers. The staff served a wonderful brunch in the cozy lobby. As I looked around the room, I noticed two things: I was the youngest spouse in the room, and half the people there were children of two of the residents. They came as teams, working together to make sure “Mom” has everything she needs. The residents didn’t even know we were there. We were working behind the scenes. And I wondered, who will be on the outside advocating for me if, God forbid, I wind up in a care home without enough healthy brain cells to watch out for myself?

One can argue that people’s children don’t always step up when they’re needed. They may live far away, be too busy or just not feel up to the task. I know that’s true. Fred’s children don’t get involved in his care. You hope your spouse will be around, but it’s all a roll of the dice. Who’s going to make sure you have enough Depends in your drawer?

In modern Western society, we don’t bear children for the purpose of taking care of us in our old age, but it sure is nice when they do. If you still have time to make the decision to have children or not have them, think about that.

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4 thoughts on “Taking care of "Mom"

  1. It is something I think about, and it bothers me too…I plan on buying long term health insurance to assure some security…I am 10 years younger than my husband, I have no brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews. I certainly expect nothing from my husband's son. I feel the best way to take care of myself is by buying the long term health insurance…I guess my money is all I can count on…

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  2. This is definitely a concern of mine. Neither my brother nor I has any children. I'm not close to my brother's nephew, who is it for the younger generation.

    My mom, on the other hand, married a man almost five years younger than she is and has two children who live in the same town, so she's in pretty good shape.

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  3. I wonder if this is more a concern of women than of men.Most women I know worry at least a little about the possibility of being left alone, but the men I know who are widowed or divorced always seem completely amazed, like they never thought this could happen. What do you think?

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  4. I worry about this and everything else. My husband say's I worry too much about things I can do nothing about. But when my grandmother was in a care facility I would see women there that were alone and knew no one came to visit them and no one came to take care of things for them, there was no one. I thought, then, “How sad”, now I am worried that I will be one of those women. I am an only child with no children, this could be a reality for me. But, having children is no guarantee that they will take care of you in your old age. I'm not sure what would be worse, having children and knowing that they choose not to do anything for you, or not having any children at all!

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